


In which Jamie McCrimmon is a little messed up...

by Dorkangel



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Torchwood
Genre: A bit rude, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Explicit, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1440184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkangel/pseuds/Dorkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Jack Harkness has had to have an adventure with the Second Doctor, and notices Jamie has really bad nightmares. Can he help?</p>
<p>I put 'teen and up', though it could be counted as 'mature'</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which Jamie McCrimmon is a little messed up...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hotspur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotspur/gifts).



> My first go at fluff. Non-explicit, just highly, HIGHLY suggested/mentioned.  
> Please don't read this if you are my grandmother.

Jack woke up, grinned and rolled over onto the side not facing Jamie. Jamie, he decided, was cute. He wasn't going to use the term innocent, because - although it fitted and Jamie had certainly never done this before - the fact that he was a six foot tall Highland warrior from the eighteenth century seemed to make the term 'innocent' kind of obsolete. After all, he had lived through not only battle, but war too. 

He was cute though. Just the shocked expression on his face when Jack had kissed him had been amazing. He hadn't really lost the look of shock - among other things - throughout the night.  
And he wasn't very old either. Of course, the TARDIS slowed your body clock (it wasn't supposed to, that was Sexy messing around) so he was probably in his mid-twenties, but when he'd first come aboard the TARDIS he must have been about eighteen or nineteen. Above the usual age of consent, anyway, and tres cute.  
He smiled a bit, imagining how cute a sleepy Jamie would be, with rumpled hair and de-kilt-ified.  
So, he rolled over to face Jamie's sleeping form... And found that he wasn't there. He blinked in the semidarkness and looked more closely, finally seeing what looked like a box or something under the covers.  
It was Jamie, curled up into an impossibly tight ball, somehow still asleep. He was shaking a little.  
"Hey," said Jack softly. "Jamie. You're ok, you're alright." He put a comforting hand on Jamie's shoulder, and the boy cringed away with a noise somewhere between a grunt and a whimper.  
Jack pulled his arm back, thinking as hard as he could about what the tenth Doctor had warned him about his previous self and Jamie before he'd gone off to find them.  
And suddenly cursed himself for being so stupid. Jamie had nightmares; of course he did. Bad nightmares, about homicidal unicorns and Cybermen and his own past.  
Captain Jack hesitated. He liked Jamie, really, REALLY liked Jamie, and he wanted to help him, but invading his mind was about as moral as killing while fucking a pig in a synagogue.  
Jamie made a small noise of terror and his arms, which had previously been hugging his knees, moved quickly to protect his face from some unknown terror.  
"Sorry Jamie," he whispered. He had to do this. His friend was in pain, and he couldn't leave him.  
He put his fingers gently on Jamie's temples, eliciting a sharp gasp from the Highlander.

Jamie's mind, like all sleeping minds, was confusing. He was vaguely aware of his surroundings through closed eyes, of an alien pressure that Jack was quick to alleviate. There was a burst of happiness and confusion at the thought of what he and Jack had been doing the last night. Jack grinned with the knowledge that Jamie had enjoyed his attentions, but pushed aside those thoughts, looking for Jamie's dreams.  
He found them suddenly and all at once he was stuck inside James Robert McCrimmon's nightmares.

Jamie was standing in a clearing somewhere, staring resolutely at his feet. Across from him was a large man - the Laird, Jamie's brain informed him -, whose gaze was boring into the top of his head. Next to him on the left was another young man - the Laird's son Alexander, a little older than Jamie - and on his right was a girl a bit younger: the Laird's daughter Kirsty.  
Jack saw Jamie look up and say something, the Laird glare at him even harder, snap something in response, Alexander and Jamie wince and Jamie stare at his feet again.  
The dream was blurry. This was a memory.  
Jamie looked up again, bit his lip and then launched into a slightly nervous tirade, the Laird glaring down at him the entire time. Jamie seemed to pause for breath and the entire situation snapped into sharp definition, suddenly every sound clear and loud as the back of the Laird's hand snapped across Jamie'a face and he was knocked to the floor. He didn't even remember what the argument was about.  
A few of the nearby Highlanders noticed the exchange, and some even began to draw their weapons.  
For a moment Jack wondered why and then the answer appeared clear, as if he was reading their minds. 'If Jamie McCrimmon wanted a fight, he'd have one, and he'd lose because he was just a piper, not a fighter, but by god it'd be a good fight.'  
But there wasn't a fight. Alexander pulled Jamie to his feet, and for a second the Laird's gaze softened into sympathy and Jack felt a Jamie's anger and indignation flare again, because he didn't want sympathy, not from this man, though he couldn't remember why. A flash of pain and grief shot through the dream as an image of Jamie's father filled his head and the soft sounds of voices talking. For a moment the dream changed. Jamie, a few years previously, about twelve, standing listening outside a door.  
"Dead, and the bloody redcoat with him."  
There was a gasp and Jamie felt himself go pale with dread. "Who'll look after the lad?"  
"I will, if ye need."  
"Colin, there's no forcing ye-"  
"No, the boy's a piper already. He can come with us. There isn't quite a   
war yet, he'll be fine."

The dream flashed back to older Jamie, standing in the clearing. The Laird turned and sternly addressed the other watching Highlanders. "To bed, I think, apart from the watches."  
Noticing the mutinous rumble of dissent he added: "And aye, that's an order."  
Alexander pulled Jamie, half forcibly, to their rolls of blankets. Jamie laughed with false bravado, shaking out of Alexander's grip. "What bed?"

The dream changed again. Jamie was standing next to a girl Captain Jack had never seen before and the Doctor, staring wide-eyed at an angry looking unicorn. He let go of the Doctor's hand and stumbled backwards, against the cave wall... But then the floor disappeared and he was falling into a enormous lake of dark water, and drowning and drowning because he couldn't swim, but then Ben was there, and Ben was a sailor (And who, thought Jack, was Ben?) so he was pulled back up to the surface and he was lying, struggling to breathe, on a bed, strange metal things attached to his chest, a strange machine beeping beside him, and suddenly a terrible metal beastie was marching towards him and he struggled back but he couldn't move. (A Cyberman, thought Jack. He didn't know Jamie had met the Cybermen.) In Jamie's disordered, dreaming, fevered mind, it morphed into a tall, ethereal man, dressed in piper's bloodied clothes and reaching out a hand to Jamie. Jack felt a a terrible fear grip him, heard Jamie cry out, "No! No, I'll not go with ye!" but then the Phantom Piper morphed back into the Cyberman and it marched robotically towards another sick man and dragged him away from his bed.

Jack withdrew from Jamie's mind, waking to find him still hunched over, asleep, arms covering his head, but now very pale. "Jamie!" yelled Jack, forgetting to be quiet in case the Doctor, who rarely slept, was within listening distance and realised they had slept together. Jack gathered Jamie up in his arms, still in the same position, only upright, and kissed the top of his head, shaken by Jamie's deepest fears.  
"J-Jack? What're ye doing?"  
"I'm so sorry, you were having a nightmare and I went into your mind and saw it-" he babbled.  
"What? Like, sorcery?"  
"No, telepathy. Are you ok? That was quite scary. Really."  
"I'm grand." said Jamie unconvincingly as his voice threatened to break into little sobs, cuddling up to Jack. "It's nothing unusual."  
He hesitated. "Jack..."  
"Mm?"  
"W-What we did... Was that allowed?"  
"What? The telepathy."  
"No, you know, the..."  
Jack laughed. "Of course it's allowed! After having one of them," (he tapped Jamie's head.) "you're worried about the moral implications of having sex with a bisexual alien?"  
"Uh... I dinnae understand half o' that, Jack."  
Jack laughed. "You could have told me."  
"What?"  
"About your nightmares." Jamie shook his head. "They're nothing special." he laughed shakily. "I'm nothing special."  
Jack hugged Jamie close and put his head under his chin. "You know that's not true. Or at least, you do now."

Jamie had gone to sleep again, resting against Jack. And he didn't have any more obvious nightmares.

But Jack, much as he felt bad for invading Jamie's mind, had to work out what was going on. He touched Jamie's temples again and was inside of his head.  
Jamie wasn't dreaming. Captain Jack was actually surprised to find himself held in beautiful stasis at the front of Jamie's mind. He accidentally brushed against a memory and...  
Jamie was leaning against the wall of the TARDIS, listening to the Doctor talk. He didn't understand half the words: the Doctor was talking about something called 'Antigrav Olympics', neither of which were things Jamie had ever heard of, and which were probably made of dark matter.  
And then Jack was next to him, smiling cheekily and Jamie was rolling his eyes as Jack whispered in his ear, going red. "Boring, isn't he? You don't have to listen to him, you know. I can think of more intersting things to do."  
Seeing Jamie try not to react, but still blush, Jack leaned in to whisper again. "'Cos, honestly, I've got a friend who says everything important about Highlanders is bigger. I would like to see if there's any truth in that rumour, if you wouldn't mind."  
Jamie hesitated nervously. "I wouldn't mind too much."  
Jack had grinned at getting a reaction from him, leaned in to kiss him, eliciting a startled, muffled yelp from the Scotsman, and-  
Nope. Jack was not going to watch that. He delved deeper into Jamie's mind. 'Secrets', whispered Jamie's voice in his own head. That sounded like a good place to start, but he brushed across another memory, hearing a voice cry out in pain, as if from afar, and dived in.  
It was about a year before Jamie had met the Doctor. He and the others were fighting for Charles Stuart, Bonny Prince Charlie, and he was supposed to be on watch.  
Unfortunately he was watching with his eyes closed, eg, he was asleep.  
For a moment Jack wondered if this was the secret. That he had even asleep on watch.  
But then there was a metallic noise and a gun was pointed straight at Jamie's head. Now, Jamie's reaction times had always been astonishing to Jack and the Doctor, and he did somehow manage to have a knife in his hand and held protectively in front of him. Obviously, the tiny knife didn't do much for him. They grabbed him and hauled him to his feet.  
"Who're ye? What're ye doing? Let go o' me!"  
Jamie's frantic questions and protests were muffled sharply by one of the redcoats pressing a hand over his mouth. He struggled a little, but seeming to understand it was pointless, he went almost limp in the soldier's arms and watched them as they searched the surrounding bushes and trees. "Where there's one rebel," growled the officer. "There's another."  
Jack felt what Jamie had been feeling. Mainly terror, for his own life, for everyone else's, and a deep, burning sense of guilt. They were going to kill him, and then they were going to kill everyone else, and it was all his fault.  
He bit his captor's fingers, freeing his mouth for a moment. "There's no one else here. I was watching for a friend o' mine to come back, I swear." Jamie cried out as the solder holding him hit him around the back of his head, knocking him forwards. He would have fallen if not for the man holding him, his arms twisted behind his back.  
"Where are your friends? Don't lie, boy, it's obvious you were left as a guard, and a poor one at that. Tell me now," finished the officer, picking up Jamie's knife from where he had fallen. "And avoid unnecessary pain." Jamie found suddenly that he couldn't swallow, but said nothing as he came closer, still nothing as the man put the tip of the blade under Jamie's chin, forcing his head up, still nothing - please, please, please don't let him kill me, begged Jamie silently - and then there was a gunshot and then another and first the officer and then the man holding Jamie collapsed, dead. Two of the other redcoats ran off the way they came and the last was the victim of another gunshot. "Jamie McCrimmon!" yelled a rough voice, and suddenly Alexander McLaren - Captain Jack recognised him from the other memory - came crashing through the trees. "Jamie!"  
Jamie, who'd been standing, frozen, in the middle, ran to embrace his friend. "Oh, thank you, Alexander, thank you! I... I owe you my life."  
Alexander laughed. "We owe you ours. All the others had left and someone noticed you weren't there, so I went back for you. Those redcoats were heading straight for us, they'd have just shot us from under cover, like I did. You must have run to cut them off!"  
Jamie shook his head, small tears welling in his eyes. "Alexander..."  
"Alex."  
"I fell asleep on my watch."  
Jamie felt the tears begin to fall, and suddenly the adrenalin drained from him and he stumbled and fell forward, onto his knees. Alex knelt beside him. "It was a mistake, Jamie. Nothing more."  
"Aye, but I... I could have gotten you all killed!"  
"Aye, but you didn't. You saved lives."  
Jamie shook his head, still feeling chillingly guilty, and Alexander laid a gentle kiss on his brow.

The memory ended, they must have walked back together, or else... Well, it'd probably be in the folder called secrets, if anything else had happened.  
Captain Jack felt almost physically sick from Jamie's guilt. Thinking about it made it worse: he was suddenly overwhelmed with two different memories.  
Alexander running out of the cottage where he, Jamie, Kirsty and Laird Colin were hiding, trying to draw attention away, and crumpling under fire. The way Jamie wanted to scream for his fallen friend, but no sound came out.  
Jamie leaving Kirsty, turning away from the 'Annabelle' and towards the Doctor and Polly and Ben and a new life. Just... Abandoning her.

Still sick with guilt, Jack withdrew from Jamie's mind so quickly that Jamie woke up with another gasp. Jack hugged him as tight as he could, whispering 'Jamie, Jamie, Mr McCrimmon, that wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault."  
Jamie pulled away and just LOOKED at him, surprised but grateful beyond belief that Jack said something seemingly random and clearly meaningful to him.  
He cuddled up again. "No more nightmares, d'ye think?"  
Jack laughed. "Yeah."


End file.
